Look here Mr. Tannen-FrikkenXmasTree!!!
Who are you to critique my chain locker!!! You don't know the plans I have for this wonderful "secret garden" of chains!!! Dust ruffles? How prissy! You don't know the real side of Martha Stewart... yes, the hardened, tough, and yes, BITCHY side borne of imprisonment! When I am done with COD's chain locker it will scream DOMINATRIX!!!! Black walls, silvery chains of seduction, you'll almost hear the crack of my whip! The screams of my slaves and the powerful release from the grip of corrosion!!! Rust will lick my boots!
Maybe a warm mauve would be more sedate...
and remember, the width of the space is less than the space between your sets of torpedo tubes! Length about 6 feet... TIGHT!